Dear Lucy, While Fisk was working at ZZ studios and you were bow-chicka-bow-wow with Zig, did you ever meet THE Sabrina?  If so, why would you ever choose Zig over her?  She is so much more *drool*. Sphynn from Strong Badia "Sphynn from Strong Badia?" I was under the impression that the population of Strong Badia consisted of only a tire... Anyway, don't forget that I work at the studio right now, too. And yes, I have met Sabrina. Our paths don't cross that often, since I work in music and she works with the Internet, and she's of the opinion (rightfully) that music and websites don't mix. Bad esthetics, she says, and it would jack up the bandwidth expenses too much. She's quite nice, and as cute as hell, you're right. So straight-laced; it's easy and fun to make her blush. Like one time, she had the tape player Transformer - Soundwave or whatever - at work, and I said in this monotone, vaguely electric voice, "Rumble, ejaculate. Operation: sodomize."  Then I scurried away, saying in a Rumble-ish voice, "You're in for it now, Starscream!" She smacked me for that one. So cute. I have a thing for shy girls. Mmm… where was I? Oh yes, Sabrina. She's straight and has a boyfriend, so I don't expend too much energy coming on to her. It's only fun coming on to straight girls with boyfriends when they're Lydia, and Zig seems to be doing enough on-coming for both of us anyway (ironic to see Zig coming on to someone, when it's usually someone else who's coming onto… never mind). And I chose Zig over Sabrina because I met Zig first, and she was easy. Dear Lucy, I had a wild party last night. How do you get semen out of fur? Signed Lacey Moran Now why would you assume that I am the expert on getting semen out of fur? Oh… right… Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m a cat. So when it comes to cleaning my fur, I find there’s no better way than with my own tongue. It’s fun, too, and generally turns the guy on enough that he might be able to go again. This time maybe, I dunno…in your vagina. Now, if he came in a hard-to-reach place, like on your face or boobs, or in your hair, then it gets tricky. See, fresh semen tends to get rather sticky when exposed to water, so trying to wash it out isn’t always the easiest thing in the world. If the semen has dried on, however (as it sounds like yours has), it’s much more simple. But either way, shampoo and water should work fine. And as an added bonus, cum makes a pretty good conditioner. So you should end up with this one little splat of fur that’s softer and more manageable than the rest. Dear Lucy, Since the readers have heard so much about the “quality time” you spend with guys, what is your definition of the perfect man? - Dione Kitane Hey, check it out! It’s Lucy’s A Fucking Slut Week here on Dear Lucy! Not a bad way to introduce a new feature, I guess. And I also guess I have no right to complain after spending two paragraphs describing how to deal with misfired cum. So lemme see… I’m going to assume that by “perfect guy,” you mean, “so perfect that there is no way he could possibly exist.” Well, first, he’d have to be bi. Never know when you might wanna add another guy to the mix, or just watch a couple of ‘em go at it while you jill off in the background. Speaking of which, he’d also have to be pretty, um… open-minded. I like to get a bit experimental in bed sometimes. I doubt I can elaborate on that much more here, so take my word for it. It’d also be nice if he were attractive, physically. This varies, but generally speaking, I like relatively plain cats. Not too big, not too muscular… just ordinary. Oh, and I’m not what you’d call a “size queen.” It’s what you do with it that counts. But since we’re talking fantasy here, something nicely thick would be good. But the most important thing is personality. My perfect guy would have to have a good sense of humor, be weird enough to put up with my weirdness, and like music. Um... I think that's about it. I haven't really thought about it. I'm pretty happy being single. Bonjour Lucy Koneko Hello Lucy Koneko Did you ever go to Montreal or anywhere in Quebec? Est tu venue a Montreal ou quel que pare dautre du Quebec? Thank you, Jason, Montreal Quebec Merci, Jason, Montreal, Quebec I haven't had the pleasure, actually. As far as Canadian travel is concerned, I've been to Vancouver, on business; Nova Scotia briefly, on September 11th when my flight from New Talia to New York was diverted to Halifax; and Toronto for a weekend, to see Super Furry Animals with Zig Zag. I understand that Montreal is a fantastic city, though, and I'd like to visit someday. My knowledge of the French language is minimal, however. I only know a few basic words, and one non-basic one (chatte, which means "female cat," and I believe is commonly used to refer to a female's... uh... cat). So I don't know how well I'd do by saying "hello" and "goodbye" to people in between counting to ten and referencing my pussy. Dear Lucy... You do realize that chances are better than none, people are going to be ripping emails straight from H*R.com? "Dear Lucy...how do you type with boxing gloves on?" "Dear Lucy...yesterday, I almost grabbed a one that was not cold. Has this ever happened to you?" "Dear Lucy...what would you look like as a Japanese cartoon, and what would it be about?" Come to think of it, just about any of Strong Bad's emails can be applied to BDK... - Calaver Who's gonna look more unoriginal: me or them? Besides, I don't wear boxing gloves. Look: See? Three perfectly-formed fingers and an opposable thumb. Dear Lucy, Since now you're working at Zig Zag Porn Studio, a question has grown in my head: Will the "trollop of a WebMistress" even appear in your comic? Sincerly, Hache Um... I don't have a comic. I work as a composer, making music for the movies they make at the studio. Wait, hang on. Let me get Mat... Hi Hache, it's me, Mat. So I guess your question is about whether Sabrina will ever appear in BDK. I don't know, really. I have no plans to include her, but me and Eric Schwartz get along pretty well, so I suppose you can't rule it out. Don't hold your breath, however. Nyello, Yo, Lucy! Let's see...it's been 400 strips and you and Lydia STILL haven't done a single hot, full-frontal girl-on-girl scene?! C'mon! Let's see some action already! See ya, Jack Little, Ypsilanti, Michigan Believe me, it isn't for lack of trying. I have been trying to get some action with Lydia for five years now. But that woman be mad straight, yo. And now she has a boyfriend, so I've given up on serious attempts to seduce her. Of course, I still toy with her, but I don't really mean it anymore. Unless she accepts. Then I'll mean it. The fact is that it isn't easy to coax straight girls into homosexual encounters. Especially when the other girl is your best friend. Think about how likely you would be to suck your best friend's dick, Jack. Unless you're gay, in which case imagine eating some pussy. Unless you're bi, in which case... um... imagine fucking a pumpkin or something. Lucy, I want to fuck you... well... I am a girl furre... is that okay? ~Kyra That's fine. I'm quite proud of my bisexuality, and offer equal opportunities to both men and women. But I'm not as slutty as I used to be, so if you want to fuck me, I'd recommend getting to know me a bit first. The days when I'd just wander into a club, find someone hot and make my move are over. To tell the truth... I haven't actually had sex with anyone for several weeks now. And it's been months since I've had sex with someone other than Zig Zag. Unless you count toys ;) dear lucy, whts your favorite food? -julie What's my favorite food? I'm sure various smartasses are expecting me to say, "Cum!" And I admit, that's tasty too, in both male and female varieties. But I define "food" as something a bit more substantial than ejaculate, so I think it's pizza. I'm always happy to have some of that. Pepperoni and green peppers. Mmm... And please, don't start sending me quips about cum pizza. The thought of it is erasing my appetite for both ingrediants. Erg... Hey, Jiggles! It's good to fire off a letter to someone I care about. I so rarely get the time to do these things, what with the goings on of the world. I can't tell you where I am, but let me just say.. man.. good god. What happened to the old days where we'd wrastle with Asian nations? At least they had better companionship. The women over here are rougher than German toilet paper. I'm sure it would feel like sandpaper inside once I knocked out all the cobwebs. Man, I wouldn't even touch that with Dirk's dick! Not like your sweet, warm pussy, Lucy. Every day I'm over here, I miss it more and more. I'm so starved for sex, I've caught myself leering at goats until their owners give me warning looks. I miss that studdery breathing thing you'd do when you're close, and way your claws fuck up the fur on my back. With every enemy of the free world that I dispatch, I get closer to coming home and painting your beautiful back with my warm man-chowder. God, I'm so built up, your fur would be healthy and shiney for a whole year. When I make it back, I'll pay you a visit. Keep drinking those milkshakes. They go right to your hips. Love, Fisk Um... okay... article over, everyone out. Lucy needs private time.