Alright folks, after a long time of letting my mailbox build up, here's an extra big and long Dear Lucy! Enjoy! Dear Lucy, Viewers of your chronicle (Sherer's BDK) never get to hear your voice. Please tell us, what with you growing up in Georgia, do you speak with an accent? Does Fisk or your Mother? -Patrick, ONT Actually, no. None of us do. I'm not really sure why. But Lydia kinda does every now and then. And especially her parents, and especially her mom. She's a pure Southern woman, she is. To Lucy the Koneko, Is it at all possible to somehow regain one's virginity? Hope you're doing well today ^_^ With much sauerkraut, Gecko Takari and that guy he was with…. I think it is, actually. I think there's this medical procedure you can have done to have the hymen repaired. Now, I don't know how it works in most country's health care systems, but in the US, it probably costs a million dollars to have this done. So... 1 - Costs a million dollars 2 - Is surgery 3 - Is surgery in the vagina 4 - Means you get to relive the pleasure of having skin ripped open when you have sex Really, I think the cons outweigh the kinky pros in this situation. Dear Lucy... A couple of questions, actually. First, would you ever consider a long term, monogamous relationship/marriage with a man? (We're not all sex-crazed maniacs, you know. Some os us are caring, sensetive, and loving) And second, on a completely unrelated topic, I'm trying to decide this long-going feud with one of of my friends, namely about music. I thought you might be of some assistance: Who is better, Led Zeppelin, or The Who? Thanks, Jake Berenson Palm Desert, California Hey, you never know. If I met the right guy, then I suppose it's possible. Though I have to admit, at this point, it's more tempting to marry another woman just to shove it in the fucked-up US government's face. I am very pro-gay marriage, and the same obviously can't be said for our leaders. I remember a time when our constitution was designed to fight discrimination and expand our rights, not promote and restrict. Those were good years... If you're wondering, the issue of gay marriage hasn't come up in New Talia yet, though it probably will soon now that it's a big deal in the US and Canada. As of right now, it's legal here. Of course, I'm an American citizen, so... As for music, the lovely thing is that you don't have to choose! You can like Led Zeppelin and The Who! If you want my opinion, though, I do slightly prefer Zeppelin. Just a matter of taste. The Who still rock, though. Hi Lucy! Could you ask Lydia if she'll cheat on Dirk with me? She looks so friggin' hot in the third panel of the comic for Tuesday January 13th, 2004. Tell her I'm willing to fulfil her piercing fantasy, as well as any others! In High Hopes, Matt PS: A threesome with Dirk might also be okay, if she likes. I have an open mind! Um... Lydia? Thanks, but no. I am loyal to my man. And besides, he already does plenty to fulfill my fantasies. Besides, I'm not really into casual sex. I prefer to do it only with guys whith whom I have a meaningful relationship. Sorry. What sort of odd goings on would occur if you and Homestar Runner merged? And what would you look like? Or would they have to conform to your art style? Thanx, Dusty Sheesh... I don't know. Maybe I'd have no arms or something. But why does everyone keep comparing me to Homestar Runner? Just because I answer email sometimes doesn't mean we're kindred spirits. Please, please stop. Dear Lucy, Do you often dream of Chinamen? Sincerely, Anna. No. I was just wondering how one would best prepare to get a job producing porn music? Many have suggested a school down here called Full Sail as being the place to learn any kind of production, but that could be a biased opinion (yes, you caught me, by definition all opinions are biased, that is what makes it an opinion). Also, any ideas as to what ever became of Elizabeth Love, Sphynn from Gainesville, FL You know, I really don't know. I'd guess an education in music is necessary. All I know is what I've been told by the people who have already been working in the industry: that the music shouldn't overshadow the action or distract from it, but just be a nice ambient sound to create a relaxed atmosphere conducive to masturbation and/or intercourse. But the actual production is probably a lot like most music production, so any class teaching that would be good. As for Elizabeth, she went to a different college than the one Lydia and I went to, and we kinda grew apart. Last I remember, she was teaching in a private school. Simple question for ya cause we all know how much you like to talk about music. ...maybe it has something to do with the fact your old job and new one kinda revolve around it... hmm.... Anyway, what do you think of some Japanese bands? Do you think they hold any value to them or are you against them just because unless you know Japanese you can't understand them? I mean, some of my favorite bands are Japanese bands, Do As Infinity, The Pillows, and who ever did the music for some of the Gundam and Bubblegum Crisis anime series. And just cause I want to know, cause you kinda of remind me of a certain anime character (Don't kill me! Its true! Look her up, Priss Asagiri from Bubblegum Crisis), if you could choose between your crayon car and a (crayon?) motorcycle, which would it be? Your again, Inny, the cutest Kitsune. Simple question, I guess. I'll try to give a simple answer. I haven't heard a lot of Japanese music, but it seems to be very similar to the music situation in the rest of the world. Language isn't always a barrier when the music is good; I point you to Sigur Ros. The thing is that I don't think any Japanese artists are offering anything innovative enough to offer any appeal to those who don't understand the language. I certainly don't hold anything against them because I can't understand them, but I do admit that I don't actively seek out Japanese music. I just don't feel that I'm missing anything. And I like my car. Salutations from Chicago! I'll open by saying I'm no authority on music of any genre, and tend to be somewhat ignorant of the groups. Your comments are helping me broaden my horizons though, so thanks much! That said, I'd like to reccomend a band I find enjoyable to listen to, though perhaps (likely, I suppose...) you've already heard of them; Flogging Molly. They're loosely stuck under the categories of punk, skaa, irish, celtic, and rock, but I just call them good. They've got two albums, Swagger and Drunken Lullabies, and the four tracks I'd reccomend for a sample of their range would be: Far Away Boys, What's Left of the Flag, Black Friday Rule, and Devil's Dance Floor. Of course, I love most of their songs, but I think those will give you a good chance at getting an impression. Well, uh, since this is "ask", and not "babble at" Lucy, I suppose I should supply a question ^^; What would you suggest as the best location for a surprise date for this special girl I've got my eye on? She's a sharp tongued Irish wildcat, and quite literate; I'm actually a bit intimidated at how smart she is, but I want to show her a good time. And while I'm sure it sounds like a lie, I want to hold off on anything sexual until she's more than comfortable, because I really would like this to last...Any tips for this silly wolf on breaking the ice? Sincerely, Graceless Flogging Molly are not the kind of band I would actively seek out for recreational listening. That said, music can be good without being on my personal playlist. My official opinion of Flogging Molly is that they are Good. I appreciate what they are doing, and it works. It's different and innovative and all that nice stuff. Anyone who likes Flogging Molly can have the Lucy Koneko Seal of Approval for having Good Taste in Music. If you're interested in similar bands, try Great Big Sea, fresh from Canada's East coast. They're a more traditional version of Flogging Molly, in that they do away with the electric instruments (well, they did, until recently). Go download their version of REM's "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" as a nice starting place. They perform it faster than the original! And then try "Mari Mac." As an example, "Mari Mac's" chorus is, "Mari Mac's mother's makin' Mari Mac marry me. My mother's makin' me marry Mari Mac. Well I'm gonna marry Mari for me Mari's takin' care of me. We'll all be feelin' merry when I marry Mari mac" sung as fast as possible. Now for your date. I'd suggest something simple for a first date, but not too simple. One that shows you put some thought into it. Literate and smart... Dinner at a nice restaurant is always a nice place to start, so you can entertain her with conversation and get to know each other. Other than that, try appealing to something that you know she enjoys. I don't know what she enjoys, so I can't make any suggestions. And as far as sex goes, treat it as a non-entity. If you want to hold off on anything sexual, don't bring it into the situation. Just ignore it. hey lucy, i was wondering what you would say in your opinion is the best movie to be released in the last 2-3 years ---------------- Ezekel The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Wow, that question was easy! Greetings, I have a question about Fisk; I know this is your mail call, but perhaps you know something about this. We know Fisk was in the Army, important things. I was wanting to know if Fist ever ran into ZZ's Lover when on the job, James? Just wanting to know, AirForceFurry. If he has, he's never mentioned it to me. Though chances are, even if he did, he might not even have known who this James was. Dear Lucy! Could we get a bit of a rundown on New Talia's history? It seems a former british/french colony as well from the scrapes we picked up , but some more info would be appreciated, as in date of discovery, first colony, relationships and status of the former inhabitants and highlights from more recent history. And you can already prepare for my next email asking about it's political constitution ^^ Love Terriekitten Um... Mat's shaking his fist at the air and cursing someone named "Boris" for making him think. Let me see. I'm no expert, but I think New Talia was discovered by explorers en route to the new world, specifically Canada, probably in the 15 or 1600s. I think was an uninhabited island, because I'm unaware of any people here who have native status. It was a British colony until June 1, 1957, when it was made an independant country, though it still remains a part of the British commonwealth, like Canada and Australia. It has a Governor General and a Prime Minister, and a parliment that runs the country from the capital of Comutlan, where I live! And... I guess I'll study up on New Talia's constitution. Dear Lucy, I am writing to get your opinion on my 10 favorite bands/musicians(Since you're the only person I know that knows more about music than my brother, and he can be compared to a music encyclopedia) : Tool, Radiohead, Depeche Mode, Iggy Pop, The Sisters of Mercy, Roxy Music, Peter Murphy, REM, The Lords of the New Church, and Black Halos. Thanks - Stefan from Paris, France. P.S: I agree with you on your fight with Linda, OK Computer is the greatest album recorded Ooh, my very first French email! I'll start by admitting that I don't know who the Lords of the New Church, Peter Murphy or the Sisters of Mercy are, though the latter does sound familiar. As for the others, I described Tool in my last column. Radiohead are perhaps the most important and innovative band in the world today. Depeche Mode are excellent. Iggy Pop is fun to listen to, though not the kind of music that's on my playlist as described earlier. Roxy Music are decent. REM are pretty great, and anyone who says otherwise is a fool. And the Black Halos are alright for what they are, though they're not really my style. Hey Lucy, I have a few questions that I have been wanting to ask you since the whole 'Dear Lucy' thing started. Do you get tired of receiving e-mails asking you only about your sex life? Why do you think Human males would want to score with a cat? Would you be okay with that? Wouldn't it be awkward and morally incorrect? Who do you think is the best world leader: Paul Martin, Jean Chrétien, the leader of state for New Talia (I don't know what the title is), George Bush, or Stalin? Why? Do you think that Lithium is a cool element? I sure do. please respond, as the answerment of these questions were the dying wish of a inner child suffering from dysentery. -Jambone Manitoba, Canada One, yes I do. Two, I can't explain the reason. I've thought about it, but I just chalk it up as a fetish, like people who like wearing diapers or having girls shit on them. You can't explain that. Anyway, I'd be okay with it, provided the cat was an anthropomorphic one like me. I only think it's immoral if the cat involved in non-sentient, in which case it's a form of rape and abuse. Three, the best world leader thus far seems to be Paul Martin, though I doubt he'll be around much longer. He's the best because he seems to be taking steps to better his country. I understand Jean Chretien's had his problems in the past and present. Bush and Stalin may as well be the same person as far as their fitness to rule a country is concerned. The Prime Minister of New Talia is Amy Manson, and she seems pretty inoffensive. It's nice to see a strong woman running a country. Four, I think Lithium is a better Nirvana song. Admit it, that was the answer you were looking for. Hay, i was just wondering what happened to to all the naughtyness? have you stoped having as muck sex or are you just not sharing it with us anymore? ... Muck sex? Um... I've tried to tone down the casual sex in the past year or so, if that's what you mean. So that's probably why. In fact, to tell the truth, I haven't gotten laid in a long time. The last time was a little fling with Zig Zag at work, and that was a couple months ago. Which is why God made vibrators. Dear Lucy, Heylo! I know your just thrilled to hear from me... again! I check everyday in the mailbox and still no restraining order so on I go. I'll try to stay more focused on BDK and you personally this time and not stray on to Better Days. I noticed that the 1 year anniversary for your comic is coming up so congrats all 'round to Mat & the whole cast, what kind of celebration is in store? (or knowing usual latency on these types of things, what did happen?) I thought to write it up as I think its a bit of fate, BDK's birthday on the 18th and mine the 13th (Friday the 13th this time no less), both under Aquarius and in Black history month here as well, which ties back into Better Days as well (Better Days... Black history haha, I made a funny, oops I kinda promised to stay away from Better Days this time didn't I?) So any who, I did something special for your special day, I loved this pic and hope you like it much too, cuz though your both cute as hell in it, as we can see in the pic Lydia has seen better days (Doh! I said it again) and most important of all, that Joe Rosales likes it and doesn't feel the need to bring the pain on me for coloring his stuff as I didn't ask. Happy B-day BDK and enjoy! *from the nearly 25 year old* -Rich, Orlando FL P.S. I just read my mail through and am disgusted at how clean it is, the thought of going several weeks before ruffling feathers again pains me so and that simply will not do, so... (and I don't think I'm alone in saying this here) I want Lucy's tits at next year's Super Bowl! Jumbo-tron widescreen and all, Fuck Janet and Justin's lame half-ass stunt, bring on Lucy! Your's are actually worth seeing and worth ticket price alone. Come on, it's gonna be right near me up in Jacksonville, I'd crawl all the way on my eyelids to see that show, please? The people's voice must be heard! I feel better now, I'm done. You know, with all the questions you ask about the comic itself and not about my life, I can't help but think that your email would be better directed toward Mat. He's the one who draws the thing, not me. I just live my life. You people don't seem to realize that I don't have any control over the comic, or the website. But as for the two year anniversary of the comic, I think there was a minor facelift to the website, as well as some functionality changes. And backgrounds. From Mat: The picture was actually pretty cool, but I didn't want to post it without Joe's permission. And back to me. I think Janet Jackson is a complete fucking whore who neglected to consider the paranoia of the American people when she did her little publicity stunt. Now what was possibly the greatest game of football ever played at the Super Bowl is all but forgotten, and we get five-second delays on everything. Thanks, bitch. Like you needed any help to sell your new album. You're lucky I'm not reviewing it, because I would have torn you something new to flash. Needless to say, I do not consider myself such a slut. And while I'm on the subject of the Super Bowl halftime show, here's a little note to Nelly: When you're lip-synching, it might be a good idea to have the damn microphone near your mouth and your lips moving whenever you're supposed to be singing something. IT'S GE'IN' DUMB IN HERRE! Lucy! Now don't ask me why I was bothering to (cuz I don't follow them), but I was recently reading a Q&A about soap operas here in a local paper, and on "Santa Barbara" back in the 80's, there was this wierd plotline about a woman getting knocked up with the sperm of this dead prince from a country that needed an heir. That's not the weird part though - the name of this "fictional" country was "New Stailand"! It's so close to New Talia that I can only ask: were the soap opera writers making a thinly-veiled, mean reference to New Talia? Or maybe it's next door? Is Matt a soaps fan anyways? Do they even get soap operas there?? The mind reels... well, at least mine did. Sorry there's nothing about sex in this letter. :P Katzle That nipple-piercing looked way too uncomfortable and flashy to have been there if you weren't planning on showing off those useless tits, you cunt. What were you thinking? "Hey, I know! I'll get Justin Timberlake to 'accidentally' rip off half my obviously-detatchable latex bra! No one will overreact, and everyone will buy my new CD!" Fuck you. My Dearest Lucy, Forgive me if I sound brash. These words must be spoken... Every night I dream of you. You're beautiful black fur ripples through my minds eye like the satin curtains at midnight. The reflection of your earings like the light of stars glistening off a cool summer lake. Your taunting smirk, how you tease... I want you, Lucy Koneko. I want you with me. To be my queen. I can treat you like royalty, like no other cat could. I could give you everything you ever desired. I am no idle suitor, my dearest kitten, I come from a family of wealth. Well... I know a family of wealth. And I had lunch there last week. So technically I come from a family of wealth. I could get you front row center to all your favorite bands, I could make your life wonderful, Lucy. My dog's name is Bubbles. Think about it, Lucy. You, the lucious black queen of my heart, I, your noble tabby prince. Think about it... Think... and dream, Lucy... Also, what do you think of the band Apocalyptica? I really like their sound, and unlike a lot of the sellouts I've seen, they just seem to get better with age. Kyle Ditonay Um... well... if you wanted to get my mind off of Janet Jackson's attention-sluttery, mission accomplished. I'm not sure my mind is in a better state now, though. I'm afraid I haven't heard of Apocalyptica. They sound like they might be a metal band, in which case I'm not real interested. Metal doesn't appeal to me, even when it's well done. They tell me that Slipknot is a good metal band, for example, but I just hear a lot of noise and yelling. Dear Lucy, I feel I must appologize for my question a few months ago, in the first Ask Lucy, where I mentioned your 'quality time' with men, and you got offended. I kind of feel like that idiot in Canada who was protesting about homosexuals, which is REALLY uncomfortable, being bisexual myself. Whatever you do in your own time is really none of my buisness. I don't think people's actions should be inhibited unless it hurts themselves or another person. (Which is a prime reason I tend to just gloss over the entire thing with Fisk. It's YOUR buisness, not mine. Besides, how sad would it be if I read it, then protest against it after having a few good laughs?) Unfortunatly, I have a question that I've been dying to ask you that completly goes against my efforts to try and not seem like a perv: When you drink, do you sip like a 'hyoomun' would, or do you lap at the liquid like a non-sentient cat? It seems like a really odd question, but it's stuck in my head! I'm a sick fugga, aren't I? Best wishes, Dione Kitane Don't worry your pretty little head, Dione. I wasn't offended. I was just venting because all the letters had been about my sexual habits. Trust me, you're nowhere near that idiot you mention. As for your question, it's nice to see something so cute asked here. The answer is that I drink human style. Tongues aren't used in such an uncivilized way. They're just for tasting. And sex. And bathing. Dear Lucy! Well, you wanted a question, and now you have one. I've got multiple ones, you can just choose to answer one if you wish. 1] How come all the species on BDK look alike? 2] Who's better in bed? Fisk or Zig? [Yes I know you were asked a similar question before, but not on their actual peformance so...meh] 3] Whats your favorite toy? You know what I'm talking about. 4] What is your position on mp3 downloading? 5] If you had the world 'top' [and by top I mean those who make the most] pop singers in a room with you, and could decide how to excecute them, how would you do it? Be creative :p. 6] What type of furry is Dubya? My bet is on a rat 7] Actual advice question: As of late I feel about as sexy as Margret Thatcher in a nun's outfit - mainly because none - and I mean NONE of the guys I know are remotly attracted to me whatsoever. I mean, its nice to feel wanted every once in a while but I am not willing to completly change myself just to satisfy some dumb teenage boys. At my old school I know there were a few guys who were attracted to me, but at this new one its like I'm a non genderless entity!!! I don;t even know what to ask for or what to do, I 'm just wondering if you have any advice for me whatsoever. Anyways, I figure thats about enough questions to last you for a while :p. Have fun - Amythist 1] Because Mat is untalented. 2] I'd have to say Zig. Fisk's anatomy is better suited to the task, but Zig can get soo creative. Fisk can too, but Zig knows so many delightful ways to replace a penis. 3] I'm a simple cat. I like my trusty vibe. 4] I think downloading MP3s is a great way to sample albums you intend to buy, and to get single tracks from albums you don't want to buy. The former, obviously, leads to revenue for the artist. And the latter isn't taking any away from them, because you wouldn't buy the album even if you couldn't download music. And who knows, you might end up buying the album anyway if you like the song that much. I am opposed, however, to downloading entire albums instead of buying them. Single tracks and pre-purchase sampling, folks. 5] I'd make them write their own music. They'd probably either commit suicide at the prospect of having to display actual talent, or go insane and kill each other. 6] Well, it depends. As a man of European decent, he'd probably be a cat. But if I really wanted to play up the Texan side of him, I'd make him a horse. If I was assigning him a species based on his personality, he'd be a rabid dog: wandering around aimless and insane, posing a danger to everyone around him, until someone puts him out of his misery. 7] Be yourself, dear. Any guy you really want should really want you for who you are, not what you wear or how you accent your boobs. In the meantime, see answer #3.